Rainy Days
by SamPhantom95
Summary: Akihiko comes home to find a note from Misaki. Love can unfortunately be...a tormenting thing. A sad fanfiction - not a fan, don't read it.


**PLEASE READ FIRST:**

**This is a oneshot to a story that I may or may not be doing in the future. If it gets enough attention I might actually sit down and write an extended or more involved story based on this one. **

**There is a very, very likely chance this oneshot will get a **_**sequel**_**. Might even answer any confusion this story might include. **

**Well, without further ado, here is 'Rainy Days'. **

**Please REVIEW and let me know what you think or feel.**

**Sad fan fiction – not a fan, don't read.**

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It took longer than expected for Akihiko to finish his meeting with Aikawa-san, Isaka-san and another author from out of town. Hours passed as Akihiko grew bored and tired as this was part of his job he hated the most – well, that and those pointless parties and gatherings for awards and such. Then after a long meeting, he had to go out for dinner in celebration for his birthday. He didn't feel any older, in fact, after meeting Misaki he felt a lot younger and happier to have someone like him in his life.

Speaking of Misaki, he had not spoken to his young lover for a while. He seemed bothered by something. By the lack of yelling at him and carrying a gloomy look on his usually glowing face, he seemed dull on the inside. Akihiko would ask countless times what was wrong, always receiving the reply of "I'm fine…" or "I can't talk about it." Every now and then he'd put on a little smile to lighten the heavy mood that was ascending in the air.

'_I haven't seen him since this morning when he rushed out of home for class. I hope that he will have the heart to tell me what is going on in his head when I get there.' _Akihiko thought as he drove his way back to the condo.

Akihiko finally made it home calling, "Tadaima," as he walked in. The condo was quiet. He was expecting a reply, as he knew that Misaki was not rude. He walked further in, calling him.

"Misaki? Misaki!" No reply.

He knew he didn't have any plans, at least he assumed so, to meet up with friends and whatnot. And he wasn't working today either. So…where was he?

He finally made it to the kitchen, only to discover a little note on the counter. Akihiko was anticipating the worse as he made his way over to the note to read what was written. As soon as his eyes laid onto the writing scribbled down, his heart broke into two. Soon shattering into pieces.

Not expecting such a note from his lover, he fell onto his knees, numb and suddenly cold from the sudden drop in temperature inside him as well as his heart slowly crumbling painfully.

"M-Misaki…" Akihiko whispered as he dropped the note.

He had plans for today, even though he never really enjoyed celebrating his own birthday. He was going to ask Misaki to come with him for a drive away from home to get away from whatever was bothering him. He hated seeing that sad look in those deep green eyes he ever loved so much. He wanted to take away whatever was making his Misaki sad. He wanted to celebrate his own birthday my making Misaki happy.

Unfortunately…_he_ was the reason. For feeling the way he seemed to be.

He knew himself well enough that he wasn't the most perfect person in the world. He had many flaws that he _hated_ himself at times. He knew he could never change that, and he believed that Misaki was the _ONLY_ one who could accept his flaws.

So what went wrong? Did he go too far with something? Was he not acting as concerned as a lover should be? Was he feeling like he was in the way?

It was none of those things.

Akihiko gathered himself and made his way to the couch with the only company of Suzuki-san and a packet of cigarettes. He lit one up, inhaling the poison into his lungs. He remembered the time when Misaki was concerned of Usagi-san's health when he smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. He was genuinely touched and he tried to cut down little by little.

Now…it seemed pointless. As the pain inside his heart became unbearable he wanted nothing but to slowly die with the toxic smoke destroying his health.

He could possibly track Misaki down, go up to him at this moment and drag him all the way back. Locking him in his arms and whispering those three precious words he only ever reserved for his dear Misaki. But that would not make anyone happier. Misaki would be miserable, and Akihiko would be heartbroken to have hurt his precious lover.

"Misaki…I…" his harsh voice whispering softly.

Even saying those three words to an empty house was just as painful as the words that were written on the note he left.

"Misaki…" he whispered again into the silent condo as a few tears managed to escape his cloudy sad eyes.

No one ever saw him cry except Misaki. He could remember very clearly the night Takahiro announced his marriage proposal with his wife Manami and how much it hurt to hear such an announcement. He let all his pain pour onto Misaki's shoulder as he held him under the street light on a cold snowy evening.

And since then, Misaki was a part of his life entirely.

And now nothing could make him happy like Misaki ever did and knowing that he could never accomplish true happiness again after the trail Misaki left made his entire world become an unending pattern of sadness. Everything the same, everything dull. His once colorful world a darker shade than black.

It was back to being alone again, the one feeling he was scared of ever experiencing again.

Misaki…I love you. Always."

As he finally whispered those words, the tears he never thought he would release finally broke free. Trickling drops becoming cascading tears, whimpers turning into painful sobs.

Love is such a beautiful thing. Love is such a wonderful thing. Love is such a complicated thing.

Unfortunately…love is also such a tormenting thing.

Losing a job, a home or an object is hard and not easy at all to deal with. For Akihiko Usami, he could lose all that and he would not care as much. But for him, losing a lover purely because his heart wasn't enough to give, it pained him more than anything.

Love can never be dramatic, as long as that love is sincere.

After the long hours of crying and smoking, morning greeted Akihiko with rain. The weather predicted sunshine, but fate only predicted skies of grey.

Now Akihiko will never hear _those three words_ sincerely from Misaki.

But…Misaki will never know…about the ring that was hidden away for him. Waiting for the perfect moment.

_**Misaki's note to Usagi-san**_

'_I cannot return the same amount of love you give me on a daily basis. I cannot love you at all. I just can't. I can't be in a relationship where so many things could go wrong. _

_I know you love me so much…but I don't love you. So, I want you to stay away from me. I'll be fine staying with Nii-chan until I can find myself my own place. _

_I'm sorry. Happy Birthday.'_

_Misaki._

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**I know this story is **_**dramatically**_** sad, but for a guy who loves someone so much like Akihiko you would imagine the amount of sadness he would feel if Misaki ever decided to leave him at his own will.**

**Thank you reading!**


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